arobotlivesdownstairs

I’m constantly frustrated by other humans in transit. As are you. I know it. Don’t lie to me.

I spend 3 hours on the subway and buses most weekdays. That’s a lot of time watching humans interact in a shared public space with few exit possibilities. We’re also perpetually afraid of engaging each other, as we create our own private space through books and music and eye-contact-avoidance within that larger container. So when some teenager with too much eye makeup betrays the simplest considerations, like refusing the pregnant woman the seat she’s grabbed for herself at the front of the bus, the barrier enclosing our private space we’ve created is broken for a moment, and the public space that floods in is swamp-like and icky. And often smells like salami or Cool Ranch Doritos, but that’s a different violation than the one I was just talking about.

When these violations of etiquette, or even more simply, human decency and attentiveness, occur, I get the rage. You do, too. But I’m a fraidy-cat. If I think about telling the offender, “hey, move your feet off the effing seat,” my scaredy-cat says “maybe you’ll get beaten up.” Even if that’s an unrealistic scenario, there’s still the I-don’t-like-getting-yelled-at-hamster saying “but being berated sucks in some ways just as much as getting beaten up,” or the sorta-unsure-zebra-mussel says, “but maybe you’re wrong and that’s totally okay behaviour for everyone else and you’ll look like an idiot trying to police the world where no one’s asking for police.”

So with that in mind, I’ve created some post cards (download printable PDF) to hand out on the subway or bus. Instead of risking unpleasant exchange, why not anonymously inform someone of their violation of transit etiquette? The conflict-avoiding-afraid-of-bullies-tadpole in me thinks that’s a pretty damned good idea. Here’s what the “bad” card looks like:

You check off the violation you think the person committed, and give it to them in some way. If you’re a societally-terrified person, you might consider dropping it beside the offender as you leave when they are not. Or, with a little more will (and pseudo-illicit tendencies), you could sneak it into their pocket, or their bag. Or if you’re a true champion, you could, of course, hand it to them deliberately, and say “please read this.” But if you’re that latter type, you probably don’t mind saying it directly to them in the first place, and these cards are redundant for you.

But it’s not all misanthropy here. Sometimes I see people behave admirably, so I’ve also created a “good” postcard, for those that impress:

I will leave some blank cards of both types around on buses and subway cars occasionally for people to pick up and use if they want to. The best would be to punch a hole in the top corner and hang them on the pamphlet hooks on buses as if they were official TTC information.

I might even try to use one sometime. More likely the positive one than the negative, of course. Let me know if you manage to use one. That’d be pretty exciting for me.

Think you can design it better, or write it better? Of course you can, and feel free. This is all Creative Commons, so do what you will.

Think you had this idea first? Of course you did. Out of millions of transit patrons, probably hundreds have this idea every day, and I believe the idea of owning an idea just because you wrote it down is ridiculous.

Download the PDF here